okay let’s see
you’re in debt
your significant other left you for a profile pic
you feel most alive when you’re on drugs
I know you
you failed the test
you want and don’t want the truth
you can’t handle and need the truth
some days you text more than you talk
your father didn’t mother you much
and now you are getting very sleepy
since you worked all day all week
didn’t even have time for chores
how do others cope with so much working?
every year you think more about climate change
you know about disasters, diseases, and serial killers
but not miracles or cures
you wonder whether you’ll grow old
you wonder whether it might be better not to
you would swear the walls are closer every day
you believe it’s best not to think too much about death
you think about death all the time
you wonder whether you maybe said the wrong thing
yeah buddy you did say the wrong thing
you said it a hundred times
you miss him so much
you tell yourself there are others like him, but better
you don’t find any
you know what you should have done
you don’t know what you’re going to do
you doubt too much, you believe too much
you want this part to end
you look at beloved faces and imagine them old
for the last decade you’ve been sidling around a hole
you think ever less about that one brief era when it all flowed
when love was easy
and you were about to become another and better person
but never did
you have this hunch though, that one day
one day…
sometimes this is all that keeps you going
you know there must be a better way
or this will all end badly
you throw open the curtains
it’s night